December 29, 2010
Flowers
G-Rated
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
See the rest of "Flowers"December 28, 2010
Louisiana
G-Rated
A senior in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
See the rest of "Louisiana"December 27, 2010
25th Reunion of the Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleaders [PIC]
R-Rated
See the rest of "25th Reunion of the Dallas Cowboys' Cheerleaders [PIC]"December 26, 2010
New Olympic Event [PIC]
X-Rated
Start Practicing...
See the rest of "New Olympic Event [PIC]"December 25, 2010
DOG PET PEEVES ABOUT HUMANS
PG-Rated
1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.
2. Blaming your farts on me...not funny.
December 24, 2010
Tragic news from up north! [PIC]
G-Rated
See the rest of "Tragic news from up north! [PIC]"December 22, 2010
The Morning After...
PG-Rated
I'm never drinking again.
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
I'm never drinking again
See the rest of "The Morning After..."December 21, 2010
The Cow, The Ant and the Old Fart
G-Rated
A cow, an ant and an old fart are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them.
The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day and that's why I am the greatest!"
The ant said, "I work day and night, summer and winter, I can carry 52 times my own weight and that's why I am the greatest!"
See the rest of "The Cow, The Ant and the Old Fart"December 16, 2010
Alabama Deer Hunting
PG-Rated
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry ?" the others asked.
" Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. See the rest of "Alabama Deer Hunting"December 10, 2010
Update on my surgery [PIC]
G-Rated
Dear Family and Friends,
Most of you know I went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift. I didn't have the most pleasant experience. I should've left well enough alone.
I wanted to show you how it turned out. I hope this keeps YOU from having this done.
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . . don't get a Butt Lift. You will most certainly regret it!!
See the rest of "Update on my surgery [PIC]"December 7, 2010
Divorced Barbie
PG-Rated
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbie dolls in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.
The amazed father asks: 'It's how much? Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'
See the rest of "Divorced Barbie"December 5, 2010
Fable of the porcupine
G-Rated
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions even though they gave off heat to each other.
After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth.
See the rest of "Fable of the porcupine"December 4, 2010
I'm rich!
G-Rated
Silver in the Hair
Gold in the Teeth
Crystals in the Kidneys
See the rest of "I'm rich!"December 2, 2010
The Army Captain
PG-Rated
A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Molly The Camel.
The Captain considers this, and finally said, 'I can't say that I condone it, but I can understand about the 'urges' and so the camel can stay.'
See the rest of "The Army Captain"