Circumcised
PG-Rated
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
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A Bull Story [PICS]
PG-Rated
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.
We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'
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Golf Course Tips
PG-Rated
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.
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When you know you are a Redneck
PG-Rated
1.You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.
See the rest of "When you know you are a Redneck"•
Horse For Sale
R-Rated
A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse he has for sale. The buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment."
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A Case, Please
PG-Rated
The Mother Superior gathered all the Nuns in the convent to tell them, "I just learned we now have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
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Words of Wisdom
G-Rated
One evening an old Cherokee Indian told his grandson about a battle that was going on inside himself.
He said,"My son, it is between 2 wolves."
One is evil: Anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.."
The other is good: "Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith."
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LITTLE FIRE TRUCK
PG-Rated
A fire fighter is working on the engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look.
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The Circle of Success
G-Rated
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
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Stress Test [PIC]
G-Rated
This is a stress test.
Look at the picture below.
If you see 2 Dolphins, everything is ok.
If you see anything else, you are working too hard.
Stop working immediately and go home and put your feet up and relax.
Your sanity depends upon it.
•
Bad Day [PICS]
PG-Rated
We all have days when we get a little stuck...
•
Before and After
PG-Rated
Before Marriage
John - Ah... At last. I can hardly wait!
Jane - Do you want me to leave?
John - NO! Don't even think about it.
•
Men
PG-Rated
Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:
See the rest of "Men"•
