June 30, 2009

Erie Predictions

PG-Rated


A father put his three year old daughter to bed, and listened to her prayers - which she ended by saying 'God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa.'

See the rest of "Erie Predictions"

June 29, 2009

Where you live ...

PG-Rated


You Live in California when...

See the rest of "Where you live ..."

June 28, 2009

A Golf Genie

R-Rated


A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf...Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

See the rest of "A Golf Genie"

June 27, 2009

Government Job

PG-Rated


A guy goes to the Government to interview for a job.

See the rest of "Government Job"

June 26, 2009

Jewish Buddhism

G-Rated


Take only what is given. Own nothing but your robes and an alms bowl. Unless, of course, you have the closet space in the master bedroom.

See the rest of "Jewish Buddhism"

June 25, 2009

Magician & Parrot

R-Rated


A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. One problem:

See the rest of "Magician & Parrot"

June 24, 2009

Switched

R-Rated


A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a women patron.

See the rest of "Switched"

June 23, 2009

Angel in a Box [PIC]

PG-Rated


You know that I normally don't send these mushy things, but there was just something about this one that I had to share with you... Heaven has sent you an Angel in a box......

See the rest of "Angel in a Box [PIC]"

June 22, 2009

Black Panties

PG-Rated


Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.

See the rest of "Black Panties"

June 21, 2009

Why did the chicken cross the road? [PIC]

PG-Rated

See the rest of "Why did the chicken cross the road? [PIC]"

June 20, 2009

License Plate [PIC]

R-Rated

See the rest of "License Plate [PIC]"

June 19, 2009

Sex in the Office [PIC]

PG-Rated

See the rest of "Sex in the Office [PIC]"

June 18, 2009

Fun with Telemarketers

PG-Rated


In the past year, telemarketers have become a bigger nuisance in my life than ever before. At first I would just hang up on them. The calls kept coming. Then I started to ask to be taken off their calling lists. The calls kept coming. I got angrier and angrier but...The calls kept coming.

See the rest of "Fun with Telemarketers"

June 17, 2009

Analogies and Metaphors

PG-Rated


Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays:

See the rest of "Analogies and Metaphors"

June 16, 2009

Housekeeping Hints for Real Women

PG-Rated


The Good Housekeeping Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

See the rest of "Housekeeping Hints for Real Women"

June 15, 2009

Transporation in Heaven

PG-Rated


Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.

See the rest of "Transporation in Heaven"

June 14, 2009

Hot tubbin [PIC]

G-Rated

See the rest of "Hot tubbin [PIC]"

June 13, 2009

Only in America [PIC]

PG-Rated

See the rest of "Only in America [PIC]"

Men Washing Stuff

G-Rated


One day, my "housework-challenged" husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

See the rest of "Men Washing Stuff"

June 11, 2009

One of those days [PIC]

G-Rated

See the rest of "One of those days [PIC]"

June 10, 2009

A Daughter's Prayer [PIC]

G-Rated

See the rest of "A Daughter's Prayer [PIC]"

June 9, 2009

Dear Abby

PG-Rated


Dear Abby:

See the rest of "Dear Abby"

June 8, 2009

Higher Math for Men and Women

PG-Rated


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

See the rest of "Higher Math for Men and Women"

June 7, 2009

Bad Stained Glass [PIC]

R-Rated

See the rest of "Bad Stained Glass [PIC]"

June 6, 2009

That Was Not in the Brochure! [PIC]

R-Rated

See the rest of "That Was Not in the Brochure! [PIC]"

June 5, 2009

Tips for Cats

G-Rated


BATHROOMS:

Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

See the rest of "Tips for Cats"

June 4, 2009

Why do we have pets?

PG-Rated


A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis provides the answer to "Where do pets come from?"

See the rest of "Why do we have pets?"

June 3, 2009

Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies

PG-Rated


•    During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

See the rest of "Things You Would Never Know Without the Movies"

June 2, 2009

Handling Phone Company Solicitation

G-Rated


One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as irritating to them as they were to me. This particular call happened to be from AT&T and it went something like this:

See the rest of "Handling Phone Company Solicitation"

June 1, 2009

The Worm

PG-Rated


A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole."

See the rest of "The Worm"