May 31, 2008
Waiting for a miracle [PIC]
I did what you told me...
I sent the email to 10 people like you said.
I'm still waiting for that miracle to happen:See the rest of "Waiting for a miracle [PIC]"
May 30, 2008
International sign For Gasoline [PIC]
PG-RatedSee the rest of "International sign For Gasoline [PIC]"
May 29, 2008
True Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cutesy little smiley faces- Just the stone cold truth of great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.See the rest of "True Friendship - None of that Sissy Crap"
May 28, 2008
9 Things I Hate About Everyone
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.See the rest of "9 Things I Hate About Everyone"
May 27, 2008
The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets
Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'
And God said, 'I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'See the rest of "The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets"
May 26, 2008
After being married for 42 years
After being married for 42 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, 'Honey, 42 years ago we had a cheap Apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a little 10-inch Black and White TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 19 year old chick !See the rest of "After being married for 42 years"
May 25, 2008
The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds
Got your answer?See the rest of "The Banana Test"
May 24, 2008
A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his, uh ... let's call it his hoho.
According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his hoho while he was asleep.See the rest of "Wedding Ring"
May 22, 2008
When Insults had class!
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
1) The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'
2) A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, 'whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'
3) 'He had delusions of adequacy.' - Walter KerrSee the rest of "When Insults had class!"
May 21, 2008
US Election Take From Denmark
We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election.See the rest of "US Election Take From Denmark"
May 20, 2008
Living in 2008
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.See the rest of "Living in 2008"
May 19, 2008
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'...and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.See the rest of "Interesting "Facts""
May 18, 2008
1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.See the rest of "Wisdom"
May 17, 2008
Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?
Now, think about it...See the rest of "Pantyhose Quiz"
May 16, 2008
Things You Shouldn't Find in Your Garden [PICS]
See the rest of "Things You Shouldn't Find in Your Garden [PICS]"
May 15, 2008
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.See the rest of "Circumcised"
May 13, 2008
A Bull Story [PICS]
My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.
We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,
THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR
My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ......Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'See the rest of "A Bull Story [PICS]"
May 12, 2008
Golf Course Tips
1. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
2. Form a loose grip.
3. Keep your head down.See the rest of "Golf Course Tips"
May 4, 2008
When you know you are a Redneck
1.You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
3. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
4. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.See the rest of "When you know you are a Redneck"
May 3, 2008
Keyboard for REAL Programmers [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Keyboard for REAL Programmers [PIC]"
May 2, 2008
G-RatedSee the rest of "Oops [PICS]"
May 1, 2008
Horse For Sale
A guy calls his buddy the horse rancher and says he's sending a friend over to look at a horse he has for sale. The buddy asks, "How will I recognize him?"
"That's easy. He's a midget with a speech impediment."See the rest of "Horse For Sale"