March 31, 2008

If Men had to Vacuum [PIC]

G-Rated

Since more men are doing housework these days, Hoover has developed a "Man's Vacuum." Here's a picture of the preliminary product test:

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March 30, 2008

Engineering Views on Women [PICS]

PG-Rated

Assorted attempts to explain women, for engineers...

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March 29, 2008

Freshness Dating [PIC]

R-Rated

So to speak...

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March 28, 2008

Spot the Democrat [PIC]

R-Rated

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March 27, 2008

GITCHA MOMMA

G-Rated

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, "Paw, what's at?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."

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March 26, 2008

Dog Pack Attacks Alligator [PIC]

G-Rated

Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Louisiana. At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the 'apex predator', can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and 'survival of the pack mentality' bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph courtesy of Nature Magazine. Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Not for the squeamish...

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March 25, 2008

How to use the rebate

G-Rated

As you may have heard the Bush Administration said each and every one of us would now get a nice rebate.

If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China . If we spend it on gasoline it will all go to the Arabs, if we purchase a computer it will all go to India, if we purchase fruit and vegetables it will all go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala, if we purchase a good car it will all go to Japan, if we purchase useless crap it will all go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America.

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March 24, 2008

Wal-Mart

G-Rated

A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass.

She rushed her cat, along with the tail over to WAL*MART!

WAL*MART??

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March 23, 2008

Anal Glaucoma

PG-Rated

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

'So, what's the matter?' he asks.

'I have a case of anal glaucoma,' she says in a weak voice.

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March 22, 2008

The First Politician [PIC]

PG-Rated

An archaeological team, digging in Washington DC , has uncovered 10,000 year old bones and fossil remains of what is believed to be the first Politician.

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March 21, 2008

Shocking! [PICS]

X-Rated

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March 20, 2008

Man's Best Friend

G-Rated

A dog is truly a man's best friend.

If you don't believe it, just try this experiment:

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March 19, 2008

Wal-Mart Cake [PIC]

G-Rated

Wal-Mart Employee: 'Hello, how can I help you?'

Customer: Yes , I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Wal-Mart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

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March 18, 2008

Tax Time

PG-Rated

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What's your occupation?"

"I'm a Lady of the night," she says.

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March 17, 2008

A New Magazine for Married Men [PIC]

PG-Rated

Finally... "Whipped" ... a Magazine for Married Men:

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March 16, 2008

Black Eye Treatment [PIC]

R-Rated

For years the conventional wisdom has been that the best treatment for a black eye is to put a piece of raw meat on it. Scientific studies have proven that while the raw meat may in fact cause severe infection in the eye!

These same studies have shown that application of warm, soft, and tender meat is the most effective in helping the eyes to recover from the damage.

So, the next time you get a black eye, here's how to treat it...

Administer treatment 'till pain & swelling are gone.

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March 15, 2008

Taliban Top Ten

PG-Rated

US Troops in Afghanistan still have a sense of humor. . .

You Might Be Taliban if.....

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

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March 14, 2008

Well, F* a Duck [PIC]

PG-Rated

And here I thought it was just an expression....

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March 11, 2008

Girls Night Out

PG-Rated

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'

Well, the hours passed and the margarita's went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

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March 8, 2008

Bob and the Blonde

G-Rated

Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large Building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Bob says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."

The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!"

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March 7, 2008

The New Drink

R-Rated

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really great new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him. The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice. The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains.

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March 6, 2008

MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD

G-Rated

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there.'

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