May 30, 2005

The World in Seven Pictures

PG-Rated

Only in China:

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Please Unsubscribe Me From This List

G-Rated

This was posted by the frustrated moderator of a Yahoo Groups list after a subscriber had taken up several days of list space asking for directions on how to unsubscribe which s/he was apparently unable to comprehend...

"If this is truly a plea to be unsubscribed you should know that there's a very simple, if not inexpensive, way to do so.

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Alaskan Street Gang

G-Rated

Watch out for these characters...

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Ready for a padded room?

G-Rated

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time.

This little test should get you started.

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Who's the Boss

X-Rated

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May 22, 2005

Bathroom Art

G-Rated

Imagine you had a little to much to drink, having a good time, suddenly you need to use the restroom!!

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May 21, 2005

Darn Dog

PG-Rated

A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for Easter dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family, and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.

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May 19, 2005

YOU KNOW YOU WORK AT A LAW FIRM WHEN...

G-Rated

[Forwarded by a paralegal who say's it's all too true....]

You know you work at a law firm when...

1. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

2. It's dark when you drive home from work.

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May 17, 2005

Church bulletin bloopers

PG-Rated

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

* Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

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May 15, 2005

True Doctor Stories

PG-Rated

A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
--Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio, TX

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May 13, 2005

Tsunami Survivor

PG-Rated

Haggard and dehydrated survivors of Asia's tsunami catastrophe are found floating in the ocean as far out as 100 miles! Pictured here is a woman who managed to survive without any debris or flotation devices for days. How she managed is still baffling officials.

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May 12, 2005

The Sisters of St. Francis

PG-Rated

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the co rner of his eye. It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES
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May 11, 2005

The Begining of the End

G-Rated

Cardinals Use Electronic Voting Machines to Elect New Pope
George W. Bush Elected Pope ... Cardinals Stunned!
Reported by Monsignor Guido Sarducci

The almost 120 Cardinals from around the world that gathered to choose a successor in the Vatican's Sistine Chapel were stunned and expressed amazement.

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May 10, 2005

Home for Dinner

PG-Rated

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?"

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May 8, 2005

50 Years

PG-Rated

A man and his wife were about to celebrate 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful and wealthy agreed to a Sunday dinner in honor of their parents. As usual, they were all late and had a varied assortment of excuses.

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May 2, 2005

Bubba and the Yankee

G-Rated

Bubba applied for an engineering position at a refinery in Baton Rogue, Louisiana. A Yankee applied for the same job, and as both applicants had the same qualifications they were asked to take a test by the manager.

Upon completion of the test, both men only missed one of the questions.

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School Notes

G-Rated

Supposedly real notes written from parents in a Mississippi School District. (Spelling has been left intact.)

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

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May 1, 2005

The Four Cats!

PG-Rated

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, and< the fourth man was a Government Employee.

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