Windows 2005 - Special Edition

Dear Consumers:

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2005 TENNESSEE EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the STATE of TENNESSEE.

If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. The TENNESSEE EDITION may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Please also note:

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TENNESSEE EDITION:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find...............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back...............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start.............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... .stuff ah done did

Also note that the TENNESSEE EDITION does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks. Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

Tiperiter................a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen.............calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net.....................Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers.......................a graphics viewer

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of the TENNESSEE EDITION, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

I hope this helps all y'all!

Billy Bob Gates