Top 8 Idiots of 2002

Number One Idiot of 2002

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

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Number Two Idiot of 2002

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It
turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
employed at Boeing.

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Number Three Idiot of 2002

A true story out of San Francisco:

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch And wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of
America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few
minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She
read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the
brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit
slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the
man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he
was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

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Number four Idiot of 2002

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of
payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

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Number Five Idiot of 2002

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The
robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because
he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license
out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and
agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the
bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier
promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber
that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

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Idiot Number Six of 2002

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner
moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

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Idiot Number Seven of 2002

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over
his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the
liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.

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Idiot Number Eight of 2002

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., flashed
a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said
he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast.

The man, frustrated, walked away.

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Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote.
Scary, isn't it?!