The Root of All Evil

It can buy a House
But not a Home

It can buy a Bed
But not Sleep

It can buy a Clock
But not Time

It can buy you a Book
But not Knowledge

It can buy you a Position
But not Respect

It can buy you Medicine
But not Health

It can buy you Blood
But not Life

It can buy you Sex
But not Love

So you see money isn't everything.
And it often causes pain and suffering.

I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...

So send me all your money and I will suffer for you.

I ACCEPT CASH, MONEY ORDERS, PERSONAL CHECKS, CASHIERS CHECKS, BAGS OF GOLD, BARS OF PLATINUM, ETC..ETC..

PLEASE: NO CHILDREN AS PAYMENTS. THEY WILL BE RETURNED.