The PortraitG-RatedMrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by a well-known artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with one-carat diamond earrings, a large 2 carat diamond ring with baguettes, glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful, red ruby pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want the bitch to go nuts looking for the jewelry." 10856
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