THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run a marathon.

4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

6. Things you buy now won't wear out.

7. You can live without sex but not without glasses.

8. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

9. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

11. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

12. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

13. You can't remember who sent you this list.