State Mottos

ALABAMA - HELL, YE-AH! WE HAVE ELECTRICITY.

ALASKA - 11,623 ESKIMOS CAN'T BE WRONG.

ARIZONA - BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT.

ARKANSAS - LITERACY AIN'T EVERYTHING.

CALIFORNIA - BY AGE 30 OUR WOMEN HAVE MORE PLASTIC THAN YOUR HONDA ~ AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!

COLORADO - IF YOU DON'T SKI, DON'T BOTHER.

CONNECTICUT - LIKE MASSACHUSETTS, ONLY THE KENNEDY'S DON'T OWN IT YET.

DELAWARE - WE REALLY DO LIKE THE CHEMICALS IN OUR WATER.

FLORIDA - HOME OF THE HEADLESS DRIVERS.

GEORGIA - WE PUT THE "FUN" IN FUNDAMENTALIST EXTREMISM.

HAWAII - HAKA TIKI MOU SHA'AMI LEEKI TORU (DEATH TO MAINLAND SCUM, LEAVE YOUR MONEY).

IDAHO - MORE THAN JUST POTATOES....WELL OKAY, WE'RE NOT, BUT THE POTATOES SURE ARE REAL GOOD.

ILLINOIS - PLEASE DON'T PRONOUNCE THE "S".

INDIANA - 2 BILLION YEARS TIDAL WAVE FREE.

IOWA - WE DO AMAZING THINGS WITH CORN.

KANSAS - FIRST OF THE RECTANGLE STATES.

KENTUCKY - FIVE MILLION PEOPLE; FIFTEEN LAST NAMES.

LOUISIANA - WE'RE NOT ALL DRUNK CAJUN WACKOS, BUT THAT'S OUR TOURISM CAMPAIGN.

MAINE - WE'RE REALLY COLD, BUT WE HAVE CHEAP LOBSTER.

MARYLAND - IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, WE CAN TAX IT.

MASSACHUSETTS - OUR TAXES ARE LOWER THAN SWEDEN'S (FOR MOST TAX BRACKETS).

MICHIGAN - FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE FROM THE CANADIANS.

MINNESOTA - 10,000 LAKES.... AND 10,000,000,000,000 MOSQUITOES.

MISSISSIPPI - COME AND FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR OWN STATE.

MISSOURI - YOUR FEDERAL FLOOD RELIEF TAX DOLLARS HARD AT WORK.

MONTANA - LAND OF THE BIG SKY, THE UNABOMBER, RIGHT-WING CRAZIES, AND VERY LITTLE ELSE.

NEBRASKA - ASK ABOUT OUR STATE MOTTO CONTEST.

NEVADA - HOOKERS AND POKER.

NEW HAMPSHIRE - GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE.

NEW JERSEY - YOU WANT A @%&#%&$ MOTTO? I GOT YER %$&##@& MOTTO RIGHT HERE.

NEW MEXICO - LIZARDS and TARANTULAS MAKE EXCELLENT PETS.

NEW YORK - YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AN ATTORNEY.

NORTH CAROLINA - TOBACCO IS A VEGETABLE.

NORTH DAKOTA - WE REALLY ARE ONE OF THE 50 STATES.

OHIO - HOME OF LAKE ERIE AND THE MISTAKE BY THE LAKE (CLEVELAND).

OKLAHOMA - LIKE THE PLAY, ONLY NO SINGING.

OREGON - SPOTTED OWL...IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER.

PENNSYLVANNIA - COOK WITH COAL.

RHODE ISLAND - WE'RE NOT REALLY AN ISLAND.

SOUTH CAROLINA - REMEMBER THE CIVIL WAR? WE DIDN'T ACTUALLY SURRENDER.

SOUTH DAKOTA - CLOSER THAN NORTH DAKOTA.

TENNESSEE - THE EDJUCASHUN STATE.

TEXAS - SI' HABLO INGLES.

UTAH - OUR JESUS IS BETTER THAN YOUR JESUS.

VERMONT - YEP.

VIRGINIA - WHO SAYS GOVERNMENT STIFFS AND SLACKJAW YOKELS DON'T MIX?

WASHINGTON - HELP! WE'RE OVERRUN BY NERDS AND SLACKERS.

WEST VIRGINIA - ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.....REALLY!

WISCONSIN - COME CUT THE CHEESE.

WYOMING - WHERE MEN ARE MEN.....AND THE SHEEP ARE SCARED!

AND FINALLY:

WASHINGTON, DC - WANNA BE MAYOR?