Signs of the Times

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Septic Tank Truck sign:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: :
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a Proctologist's door :
"To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck: :
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On a Plumber's truck: :
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your Plumber.."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: :
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: :
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company: :
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck: :
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: :
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door: :
"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office :
"If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: :
"We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: :
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence : :
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: :
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: :
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

At the Electric Company: :
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window: :
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: :
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station, :
"Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: :
"Best place in town to take a leak."