Living Will

Ever since the Terry Shaivo debacle there has been an increase of living wills from 10,000 a year to 40,000. This is our form for the New Living Will. I think this is the best living will form that I've seen, it's easy to understand, and it makes perfect sense as a will. It will help cut the paper work.

I, _________________________, dated: __________________being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Bloody Mary
______a Beer
______a Margarita
______a Scotch and soda
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a steak
______a lobster or crab legs
______the remote control
______chocolate
______sex
______a tee time

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day.