Forwarded Funnies http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/ mail's primary purpose seems to be quick and easy distribution of humor. Where do jokes come from? Who knows? But sooner or later, the jokes stop here. Copyright 2012 Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:51:05 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=4.32-en http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Colonoscopy [PIC] After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a Colonoscopy in Seattle, I decided to have my next one carried out while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the nurses are allegedly much more gentle and accommodating.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/colonoscopy_pic_004824.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/colonoscopy_pic_004824.html PG-Rated Wed, 04 Jan 2012 18:51:05 -0800 The Difference If You Marry a Canadian Girl Three friends married women from different parts of the world...

The first man married a Asian girl. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a Greek girl. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking.

The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done, and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Canada . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/the_difference_if_you_marry_a_canadian_girl_004822.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/the_difference_if_you_marry_a_canadian_girl_004822.html G-Rated Sat, 31 Dec 2011 15:26:23 -0800 New Drugs St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.

Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait til they moved out.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/new_drugs_000232.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/new_drugs_000232.html PG-Rated Sun, 18 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 Get Well... A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/get_well_000231.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/get_well_000231.html G-Rated Sat, 17 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 <![CDATA[Lewinsky & Kaczynski]]> This is from a contest on Long Island. The requirements were to use the two words, Lewinsky and Kaczynski (the Unabomber), in a limerick. Here are the three winners:

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/lewinsky_kaczynski_000230.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/lewinsky_kaczynski_000230.html PG-Rated Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 A Dancing Legend With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/a_dancing_legend_000229.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/a_dancing_legend_000229.html G-Rated Thu, 15 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 Exercise? It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add a minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years of age, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month!

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/exercise_000228.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/exercise_000228.html G-Rated Tue, 13 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 Redneck Love Poem SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE; SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL, SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/redneck_love_poem_000227.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/redneck_love_poem_000227.html G-Rated Mon, 12 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 A Serious Scientific Enquiry "It all started with an enquiry from a nurse," Dr. Karl Kruszelnicki told listeners to his science phone-in show on the Triple J radio station in Brisbane. "She wanted to know whether she was contaminating the operating theatre she worked in by quietly farting in the sterile environment during operations, and I realised that I didn't know. But I was determined to find out."

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/a_serious_scientific_enquiry_000225.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/a_serious_scientific_enquiry_000225.html G-Rated Sun, 11 Dec 2011 08:00:00 -0800 Priceless: The Reception New hairdo: $45

Dress for Reception: $200

Matching new shoes: $70

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/priceless_the_reception_000224.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/priceless_the_reception_000224.html R-Rated Sat, 10 Dec 2011 10:11:40 -0800 Old Farts Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.

One said to the other, "I'll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, "What're you selling' here?"

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/old_farts_004798.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/old_farts_004798.html PG-Rated Tue, 08 Nov 2011 17:09:00 -0800 Development All babies start out with the same number of raw cells, which over nine months, develop into a complete female baby.

The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead.

Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cell necessary to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/development_000223.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/development_000223.html G-Rated Sat, 05 Nov 2011 08:00:00 -0800 Hunters A couple of Kentucky hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/hunters_000222.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/hunters_000222.html G-Rated Fri, 04 Nov 2011 08:00:00 -0800 Gas Prices [PIC] http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/gas_prices_pic_000221.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/gas_prices_pic_000221.html G-Rated Thu, 03 Nov 2011 08:00:00 -0800 A Lift A young woman from New York City was driving through a remote part of Oklahoma when her car broke down. An Indian came riding by on horseback and offered to give her a lift. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride into town was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a loud whoop that echoed back from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in Bartlesville, he let her off at the local Phillips 66 Service Station, yelled one final "Yahoo" and rode off.

]]> http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/a_lift_000220.html http://www.forwardedfunnies.com/a_lift_000220.html PG-Rated Wed, 02 Nov 2011 08:00:00 -0800