Dictionary Entries

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish - 49.
Adventurous - Slept with everyone.
Athletic - No breasts.
Average looking - Moooo.
Beautiful - Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure - On medication.
Feminist - Fat.
Free Spirit - Junkie.
Friendship first - Former Slut.
New-Age - Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned - - No B.J.'s
Open-minded - Desperate.
Outgoing - Loud and embarrassing.
Professional - Bitch.
Voluptuous - Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate - Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes - No
No - Yes
Maybe - No
We need - I want
I am sorry - You'll be sorry
We need to talk - You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead - You better not
Do what you want - You will pay for this later
I am not upset - Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight - Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry - I am hungry
I am sleepy - I am sleepy
I am tired - I am tired
Nice dress - Nice cleavage!
I love you - Let's have sex now!
I am bored - Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance? - I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? - I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie? - I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? - I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay.