A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness".
"Now you probably won't remember but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again but...something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it!"
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got £9,000 in compensation coming to you and we have the technology to build you a new willy, which will work even better than your old one did! The thing is, it doesn't come cheap....it's £1,000 an inch!"
The man perks up at this. "So," the doctor says, "It's for you to decide how many inches you want? I'd suggest you discuss it with your wife, I mean if you had five inches before and you decide to go for a nine inch she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and you decide only to invest in a five inch, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision?"
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"
"I have," says the man.
"And what is the decision?" asks the doctor.
"We're getting granite countertops."
February 20, 2011 4659