American History

It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?"

She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Suzuki, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.

"Very good! Now," said the teacher, "Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth'"?

Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded. Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.

At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Suzuki's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna throw up".

The teacher glares and asks "Alright! Now who said that?"

Again, Suzuki raises his hand and says "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991".

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!