April 30, 2011

A Matter of Faith

PG-Rated

After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, "Is it still a
requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The Rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."

The Priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"

See the rest of "A Matter of Faith"

April 29, 2011

3 Rules of Getting Older [PIC]

R-Rated

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April 28, 2011

The Great Northwest

G-Rated

[This is a rather good description of we who live in (come from) the Northwest.]

You might be from the Pacific Northwest if:

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April 27, 2011

Norm and Davie

R-Rated

Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm what's wrong.

"Well," replies Norm, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I told you I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"

"Yes," replies Davie, with a smile.

See the rest of "Norm and Davie"

April 26, 2011

Office Exercise Program [PIC]

G-Rated

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April 25, 2011

INSTALLING SPRING...

G-Rated

.............44% DONE......

Installation delayed....please wait.

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April 21, 2011

A LETTER TO OUR FURRY FRIENDS

G-Rated

Dear Dog and/or Cat,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)

See the rest of "A LETTER TO OUR FURRY FRIENDS"

April 20, 2011

North & South

G-Rated

The North has dating services
The South has family reunions

The North has switchblade knives
The South has Lee Press-on Nails

The North has saving the whales
The South has getting saved

See the rest of "North & South"

April 19, 2011

Men Working [PIC]

G-Rated

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April 18, 2011

Fascinate-ing

PG-Rated

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.

See the rest of "Fascinate-ing"

April 17, 2011

Be Thankful [PIC]

PG-Rated

Every day we have something to be thankful for.

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April 16, 2011

IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG OR CAT

G-Rated

I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.

My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.

All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.

When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a kennel!

When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.

See the rest of "IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG OR CAT"

April 15, 2011

Two Old Ladies

PG-Rated

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car.

They said, "Heavens no, we bought it."

He said, "Then why don't you drive it away?"

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April 7, 2011

Jack Schitt

R-Rated

WHO IS JACK SCHITT???

The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

See the rest of "Jack Schitt"

April 5, 2011

Cleanliness? [PIC]

G-Rated

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April 1, 2011

The Best Blonde Joke Ever

G-Rated

It's been going around the internet for years, and has seen a sudden gain in popularity as more and more people stumble on to it.

See the rest of "The Best Blonde Joke Ever"