April 30, 2011
A Matter of Faith
After a while, the Priest turns to the Rabbi and asks, "Is it still a
requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?"
The Rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs."
The Priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
April 29, 2011
3 Rules of Getting Older [PIC]
R-RatedSee the rest of "3 Rules of Getting Older [PIC]"
April 28, 2011
The Great Northwest
[This is a rather good description of we who live in (come from) the Northwest.]
You might be from the Pacific Northwest if:See the rest of "The Great Northwest"
April 27, 2011
Norm and Davie
Davie walks into a bar and sees his friend Norm slumped over the bar. Davie walks over and asks Norm what's wrong.
"Well," replies Norm, "you know that beautiful girl at work that I told you I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Davie, with a smile.See the rest of "Norm and Davie"
April 26, 2011
Office Exercise Program [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Office Exercise Program [PIC]"
April 25, 2011
Installation delayed....please wait.See the rest of "INSTALLING SPRING... "
April 21, 2011
A LETTER TO OUR FURRY FRIENDS
Dear Dog and/or Cat,
When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)See the rest of "A LETTER TO OUR FURRY FRIENDS"
April 20, 2011
North & South
The North has dating services
The South has family reunions
The North has switchblade knives
The South has Lee Press-on Nails
The North has saving the whales
The South has getting saved
April 19, 2011
Men Working [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Men Working [PIC]"
April 18, 2011
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.See the rest of "Fascinate-ing"
April 17, 2011
Be Thankful [PIC]
Every day we have something to be thankful for.See the rest of "Be Thankful [PIC]"
April 16, 2011
IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG OR CAT
I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of hair.
When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a kennel!
When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through fuzzy bodies who beat me there.See the rest of "IF I DIDN'T HAVE A DOG OR CAT"
April 15, 2011
Two Old Ladies
It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car.
They said, "Heavens no, we bought it."
He said, "Then why don't you drive it away?"See the rest of "Two Old Ladies"
April 7, 2011
WHO IS JACK SCHITT???
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt!"
Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.See the rest of "Jack Schitt"
April 5, 2011
G-RatedSee the rest of "Cleanliness? [PIC]"
April 1, 2011
The Best Blonde Joke Ever
It's been going around the internet for years, and has seen a sudden gain in popularity as more and more people stumble on to it.See the rest of "The Best Blonde Joke Ever"