March 30, 2011

When a male bird can't stand it any longer! [PIC]

G-Rated

A priceless shot...

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March 29, 2011

Amish Elevator

G-Rated

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is.'

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March 28, 2011

My Dog

G-Rated

It just hit me!

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

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March 27, 2011

Arrogance

G-Rated

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."

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March 26, 2011

Walk with me by the water....

PG-Rated

A beautiful message about growing older:

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March 25, 2011

Winter Driving [PIC]

R-Rated

It happens to all of us.

You're driving along just minding your own business, when all of a sudden and without any warning this dick in a truck pulls out right in front of you...

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March 24, 2011

Death in the Family

G-Rated

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.

Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'

The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that My mother had passed away.'

The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the Day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'

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March 23, 2011

The Thermos

G-Rated

A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver Thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took It to the clerk to ask what it was.

The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'

'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing....I'm going to buy it!' So she Bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.

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March 22, 2011

Father of the Year

PG-Rated

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"

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March 21, 2011

Gas Prices [PIC]

G-Rated

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March 13, 2011

Men in the kitchen... [PIC]

PG-Rated

This is what happens when men bake cookies:

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March 12, 2011

Miss Airport 2011 Calendar [PICS]

PG-Rated

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March 11, 2011

Septic Tank Guys.... [PICS]

PG-Rated

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March 10, 2011

New Way To Pick Up Chicks

PG-Rated

I met a girl in the park the other evening.
There was an instant spark between us...

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March 9, 2011

An answer I can understand.

G-Rated

A tourist in a bar in Florida asks an Irishman sitting at the bar,
"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

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March 8, 2011

Kneeling high jump record [PIC]

R-Rated

Are you aware that a new world record has been set for the HIGH JUMP from a KNEELING position?

The record (1.757 meters) - remember this is from a KNEELING position - was set recently on a beach near Montpellier in Southern France.

The photograph below was taken a split second before the jump - it gives you an idea as to how it was achieved.

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March 7, 2011

Seniority

PG-Rated

A dedicated Teamsters Union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and, as you would expect, decided to check out the brothels nearby. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100.00, what cut do the girls get?"

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