September 30, 2010

Amish Christmas Lights

G-Rated

I know it's not the season, but these are amazing!

Amish Christmas lights:

See the rest of "Amish Christmas Lights"

September 26, 2010

If Women Ruled The World

PG-Rated

PMS would be a legitimate defense in court.
Men would get reputations for sleeping around.
Singles bars would have metal detectors to weed out men hiding wedding rings in their pockets.
A man would no longer be considered a "good catch" simply because he is breathing.
Fewer women would be dieting because their ideal weight standard would increase by 40 pounds.
Shopping would be considered an aerobic activity.

See the rest of "If Women Ruled The World"

September 25, 2010

One Clever Female

G-Rated

There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife."

So he got his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.

See the rest of "One Clever Female"

September 24, 2010

Old Fart

PG-Rated

A woman decided to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $15,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy the paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 32," the clerk replies. "I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later, she goes into McDonalds and upon getting her order, she asks the girl at the counter the same question. She replies "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47." Now she is feeling really good about herself

See the rest of "Old Fart"

September 23, 2010

Microsoft Word for Blondes... [PIC]

G-Rated

See the rest of "Microsoft Word for Blondes... [PIC]"

September 22, 2010

A Sad Day on the Street [PIC]

PG-Rated

See the rest of "A Sad Day on the Street [PIC]"

September 21, 2010

Word Play

PG-Rated

The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words. The following were some of the winning entries:

Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

See the rest of "Word Play"

September 20, 2010

New Book

PG-Rated

Jimmy Swaggert, Jim Bakker and Jesse Jackson are collaborating on a new book.

See the rest of "New Book"

September 19, 2010

The Easter Bunny

G-Rated

A man was driving along the highway, and saw the Easter bunny cross the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the rabbit, but unfortunately the bunny jumped in front of the car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place, candy too. The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the rabbit carrying the basket.

See the rest of "The Easter Bunny"

September 18, 2010

Extreme Sports [PIC]

G-Rated

See the rest of "Extreme Sports [PIC]"

September 11, 2010

Three Old Ladies

PG-Rated

These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approached from across the park.

The flasher came up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his trench coat.

See the rest of "Three Old Ladies"

September 10, 2010

Why condoms come in boxes

PG-Rated

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them when they have sex."

"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"

See the rest of "Why condoms come in boxes"

September 8, 2010

Rock Climbing [PIC]

R-Rated

See the rest of "Rock Climbing [PIC]"

September 7, 2010

The Chippendales [PIC]

G-Rated

20 years later...

See the rest of "The Chippendales [PIC]"

September 6, 2010

Men will never learn.

G-Rated

Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.

See the rest of "Men will never learn."

September 5, 2010

Hammock Warning!

X-Rated

Be careful!

See the rest of "Hammock Warning!"

September 4, 2010

A Real Man

G-Rated

A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.

See the rest of "A Real Man"