October 31, 2009
Why are we still there?
Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on the TV are photos of death and destruction.... Why are we still there?
We occupied this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble.... Why are we still there?See the rest of "Why are we still there?"
October 30, 2009
Women and Horses
In a press release today, the National Institutes of Health announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of horses.
This substance, "amo-bacter equuii," has been linked with the following symptoms in female humans:See the rest of "Women and Horses"
October 27, 2009
First-year students at Texas A&M's vet school were attending their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.
See the rest of "Pay Attention!"
October 23, 2009
A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
See the rest of "Driver's License"
October 22, 2009
Hippies and Tattoos [PIC]
R-RatedHave you ever wondered what happened to all those cute and crazy, good looking, young hippie chicks who did drugs, smoked weed, got tattooed everywhere and did every guy during the Age of Aquarius back in the 60's? See the rest of "Hippies and Tattoos [PIC]"
October 21, 2009
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time wen by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
See the rest of "Chickens"
October 18, 2009
How I Learned to Mind My Own Business
I was walking past the mental hospital the other day.
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October 17, 2009
Pick-up Lines [PIC]
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Thank you for purchasing "Bubba & Cooter's Book of Sure-fire Pick-up Lines" brought to you by Bubba & Cooter, straight outta Texas. Enjoy!
October 16, 2009
Ole Fills in for the Doctor
A doctor in St. Johns wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. "Ole, I am goin' huntin' tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all my patients."
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October 15, 2009
Only in Texas
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
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October 14, 2009
The economy is so bad ...
The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
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October 12, 2009
A senior citizen said ...
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
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October 11, 2009
Couple in their nineties ...
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ...
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October 10, 2009
Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged.
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October 9, 2009
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, "This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?" The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.
See the rest of "Garage Door"
October 7, 2009
Jesus, Mary, Joseph and ...
A Sunday school teacher was speaking to a group of four-year-olds about Jesus, Joseph and Mary. After the lesson the kids were to draw a picture depicting their favorite part of the story. The teacher shared the pictures the children drew with the entire class. She got pictures of the Baby Jesus in the manger with animals, she got pictures of the three wise men and the like.See the rest of "Jesus, Mary, Joseph and ..."
October 6, 2009
Do Not Be Late
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician, who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed in traffic. So..... the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.See the rest of "Do Not Be Late"