July 31, 2009
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake.
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July 30, 2009
Getting Older Stinks III
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
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July 29, 2009
Getting Older Stinks II
When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out.
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July 28, 2009
Ladies Night Out
Last night, my Red Hat friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill.
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July 26, 2009
Getting Older Stinks
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.
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July 25, 2009
Military Rules for the Non-Military
We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation have many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas we would like your assistance with:
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July 24, 2009
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the great wizard was showing him his latest creation. It was a chastity belt, except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place which made it basically useless.
See the rest of "Sir Knight"
July 23, 2009
1. The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
See the rest of "Lawyer Bashing"
July 22, 2009
A newly deceased man, David, stands at the pearly gates. St. Peter tells him that he cannot go to heaven right away because he cheated on his income taxes. The only way he might get into heaven would be to sleep with a stupid, ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it. David decides that this is a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven.
See the rest of "Income Tax"
July 21, 2009
Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now
dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go
by from her front porch with a cat named Bob for companionship.
One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother.
Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all
See the rest of "Cinderella Reloaded"
July 20, 2009
Change of Address
My Aunt died this past January. Citi Bank billed her for February and March for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00)
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July 19, 2009
Don't Mess with the Elderly [PIC]
PG-RatedSee the rest of "Don't Mess with the Elderly [PIC]"
July 18, 2009
One of Those Days [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "One of Those Days [PIC]"
July 17, 2009
It's What's for Dinner [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "It's What's for Dinner [PIC]"
July 16, 2009
Revenge is Sweet [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Revenge is Sweet [PIC]"
July 15, 2009
Working for the Kibble [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Working for the Kibble [PIC]"
July 14, 2009
Dog Owners Beware [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Dog Owners Beware [PIC]"
July 13, 2009
Be diligent at all border crossings ... [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "Be diligent at all border crossings ... [PIC]"
July 12, 2009
First Day with the New Boat [PIC]
G-RatedSee the rest of "First Day with the New Boat [PIC]"
July 11, 2009
Swine Flu [PIC]
R-RatedSee the rest of "Swine Flu [PIC]"
July 10, 2009
Mature Love Making
The husband leans over and asks his wife,
See the rest of "Mature Love Making"
July 9, 2009
Blonde Teenage Girl
A blonde teenage girl, wanting to earn some extra money for the Summer, decided to hire herself out as a 'handy-woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
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July 8, 2009
Because I'm a man,
when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.
See the rest of "Understanding Men"
July 7, 2009
Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store.
See the rest of "Southern Bartering"
July 6, 2009
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a diminutive Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
See the rest of "Nuns"
July 5, 2009
Like a Baby
A young couple were on their way to Vegas to get married. Before getting there, the girl said to the guy that she had a confession to make; the reason that they have not been too intimate is because she is very flat-chested. If the guy wishes to cancel the wedding, it is okay with her.
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July 4, 2009
A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
See the rest of "The Dentist"
July 3, 2009
Never Piss off a Woman
A wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With super-human strength borne of fury, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the tool shed ...
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July 2, 2009
Blonde in a Pharmacy
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant...
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July 1, 2009
Widow of Murdered Fly Seeks White House Apology
Grieving widow faces uphill legal Battle against President
WASHINGTON -- The widow of the housefly murdered by Barack Obama During a recent CNBC television interview announced this morning That she would be filing a wrongful death suit against the President in federal district court. The plaintiff brief -- citing Pain, suffering and loss of income -- seeks a formal apology and Compensatory damages, including an unspecified quantity of shit.
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