November 30, 2005

Coin Retrieval


A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.

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November 29, 2005

Two Lawyers on an Island


Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided their food. And each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree to see if he could see a rescue boat coming. One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow. I can't believe my eyes. There is a girl out there floating in our direction."

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November 28, 2005

Dressing your pets is just wrong...


[OK, so I'm not a big fan of dressing up pets ... though occasionally it happens. However these, as far as I'm concerned, are simply more evidence that it's a bad, bad idea. Funny, but oh so wrong. - ed.]

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November 27, 2005

Fish Story


A hillbilly was stopped by a game warden in West Virginia recently with two ice chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no. You must understand these here are my pet fish."

See the rest of "Fish Story"

November 26, 2005

Two Nuns


One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

See the rest of "Two Nuns"

November 25, 2005

Life is Hard


Yesterday I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip.

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November 22, 2005

Escaped Convict


A convict escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband hisses to his wife:

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November 21, 2005

"OLD" is when...


"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love,"and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"

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November 20, 2005



1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

See the rest of "SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE"

November 19, 2005



Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in the State of Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later, he performed a private concert for the Queen of England!"

See the rest of "Surgeons"

November 16, 2005

Redneck Scrapbook


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November 15, 2005



1. Sag, You're it.

2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.


Just Rewards?


Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

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November 14, 2005



1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

See the rest of "THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50"

November 11, 2005

Worst First Date - EVER


We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

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Tennessee Bird Dog


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November 10, 2005

Baby's First Exam


A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the Doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The Doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

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November 9, 2005



A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.

See the rest of "Cooking"

November 8, 2005

Watch out for this scam


This new scam is being pulled mainly on older women who are apparently passed the age of giving a running pursuit.

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November 7, 2005

3 Old Ladies from Florida


This is a detective story ... So Pay Close Attention!!!

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels into the ball park.

See the rest of "3 Old Ladies from Florida"

November 6, 2005

Quintessential Jewish (or any other kind of) Mother


Telephone rings and Jewish Mother answers.......

Jewish Mother

Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?

Jewish Mother
You're going out?

See the rest of "Quintessential Jewish (or any other kind of) Mother"

November 5, 2005

"The Last Photo I Ever Took" Contest...


And the winners are...

See the rest of ""The Last Photo I Ever Took" Contest..."

November 4, 2005

World's Shortest Fairy Tale


Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

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If looks could kill


See the rest of "If looks could kill"

November 3, 2005

The story behind a lot of lives...


See the rest of "The story behind a lot of lives..."

November 2, 2005



A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?"

"I can't tell you," the black man says.

Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he can't tell her.

See the rest of "Snow"

November 1, 2005

Pet Costumes


[I'm morally opposed to dressing up pets, however ...]

See the rest of "Pet Costumes"