November 30, 2005
Coin Retrieval
PG-Rated
A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
See the rest of "Coin Retrieval"November 29, 2005
Two Lawyers on an Island
PG-Rated
Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided their food. And each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree to see if he could see a rescue boat coming. One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree, "Wow. I can't believe my eyes. There is a girl out there floating in our direction."
See the rest of "Two Lawyers on an Island"November 28, 2005
Dressing your pets is just wrong...
G-Rated
[OK, so I'm not a big fan of dressing up pets ... though occasionally it happens. However these, as far as I'm concerned, are simply more evidence that it's a bad, bad idea. Funny, but oh so wrong. - ed.]
November 27, 2005
Fish Story
G-Rated
A hillbilly was stopped by a game warden in West Virginia recently with two ice chests of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing.
The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"
"Naw, sir, I ain't got none of them there licenses, no. You must understand these here are my pet fish."
See the rest of "Fish Story"November 26, 2005
Two Nuns
PG-Rated
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
See the rest of "Two Nuns"November 25, 2005
Life is Hard
PG-Rated
Yesterday I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip.
See the rest of "Life is Hard"November 22, 2005
Escaped Convict
PG-Rated
A convict escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband hisses to his wife:
See the rest of "Escaped Convict"November 21, 2005
"OLD" is when...
PG-Rated
"OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love,"and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
See the rest of ""OLD" is when..."November 20, 2005
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
PG-Rated
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
See the rest of "SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE"November 19, 2005
Surgeons
PG-Rated
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in the State of Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later, he performed a private concert for the Queen of England!"
See the rest of "Surgeons"November 16, 2005
Redneck Scrapbook
PG-Rated
November 15, 2005
GAMES FOR WHEN YOU ARE OLDER
G-Rated
1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.
See the rest of "GAMES FOR WHEN YOU ARE OLDER"Just Rewards?
R-Rated
Dr. Calvin Rickson, a scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
See the rest of "Just Rewards?"November 14, 2005
THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50
PG-Rated
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
See the rest of "THE PERKS OF BEING OVER 50"November 11, 2005
Worst First Date - EVER
PG-Rated
We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!
See the rest of "Worst First Date - EVER"Tennessee Bird Dog
G-Rated
See the rest of "Tennessee Bird Dog"November 10, 2005
Baby's First Exam
PG-Rated
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the Doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The Doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
See the rest of "Baby's First Exam"November 09, 2005
Cooking
G-Rated
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter.
See the rest of "Cooking"November 08, 2005
Watch out for this scam
G-Rated
This new scam is being pulled mainly on older women who are apparently passed the age of giving a running pursuit.
See the rest of "Watch out for this scam"November 07, 2005
3 Old Ladies from Florida
G-Rated
This is a detective story ... So Pay Close Attention!!!
Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game. They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels into the ball park.
See the rest of "3 Old Ladies from Florida"November 06, 2005
Quintessential Jewish (or any other kind of) Mother
G-Rated
Telephone rings and Jewish Mother answers.......
Jewish Mother
Hello?
Daughter
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Jewish Mother
You're going out?
November 05, 2005
"The Last Photo I Ever Took" Contest...
G-Rated
And the winners are...
November 04, 2005
World's Shortest Fairy Tale
G-Rated
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"
See the rest of "World's Shortest Fairy Tale"If looks could kill
G-Rated
See the rest of "If looks could kill"November 03, 2005
The story behind a lot of lives...
R-Rated
See the rest of "The story behind a lot of lives..."November 02, 2005
Snow
PG-Rated
A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica. Upon arriving, she meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him, "What is your name?"
"I can't tell you," the black man says.
Every night they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always responds the same, he can't tell her.
See the rest of "Snow"November 01, 2005
Pet Costumes
G-Rated
[I'm morally opposed to dressing up pets, however ...]
